When a loved one dies, grieving family members and friends often are confronted with dozens of decisions about the funeral - all of which must be made quickly and often under great emotional duress. What kind of funeral should it be? What funeral provider should you use? Should you bury or cremate the body, or donate it to science? What are you legally required to buy? What other arrangements should you plan? And, as callous as it may sound, how much is it all going to cost?

Funerals rank among the most expensive purchases many consumers will ever make. A traditional funeral, including a casket and vault, costs about $6,000, although "extras" like flowers, obituary notices, acknowledgment cards or limousines can add thousands of dollars to the bottom line. Many funerals run well over $10,000. Many people feel uncomfortable comparing prices or negotiating over the details and cost of a funeral. Compounding this discomfort is the fact that some people "overspend" on a funeral or burial because they think of it as a reflection of their feelings for the deceased.

The Funeral Rule Provides Consumer Protection

• you have the right to choose the funeral goods and services you want (with some exceptions).
• the funeral provider must state this right in writing on the general price list.
• if state or local law requires you to buy any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list, with a reference to the specific law.
• the funeral provider may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket you bought elsewhere.
• a funeral provider that offers cremations must make alternative containers available.

Types of Funerals

Direct burial
The body is buried shortly after death, usually in a simple container. No viewing or visitation is involved, so no embalming is necessary. A memorial service may be held at the graveside or later. Direct burial usually costs less than the "traditional," full-service funeral. Costs include the funeral home's basic services fee, as well as transportation and care of the body, the purchase of a casket or burial container and a cemetery plot or crypt. If the family chooses to be at the cemetery for the burial, the funeral home often charges an additional fee for a graveside service.

Direct cremation
The body is cremated shortly after death, without embalming. The cremated remains are placed in an urn or other container. No viewing or visitation is involved, although a memorial service may be held, with or without the cremated remains present. The remains can be kept in the home, buried or placed in a crypt or niche in a cemetery, or buried or scattered in a favorite spot. Direct cremation usually costs less than the "traditional," full-service funeral. Costs include the funeral home's basic services fee, as well as transportation and care of the body. A crematory fee may be included or, if the funeral home does not own the crematory, the fee may be added on. There also will be a charge for an urn or other container. The cost of a cemetery plot or crypt is included only if the remains are buried or entombed.

Calculating the Actual Cost

The funeral provider must give you an itemized statement of the total cost of the funeral goods and services you have selected when you are making the arrangements. If the funeral provider doesn't know the cost of the cash advance items at the time, he or she is required to give you a written "good faith estimate." This statement also must disclose any legal, cemetery or crematory requirements that you purchase any specific funeral goods or services.

Services and Products

Embalming
Many funeral homes require embalming if you're planning a viewing or visitation. But embalming generally is not necessary or legally required if the body is buried or cremated shortly after death. Eliminating this service can save you hundreds of dollars. Under the Funeral Rule, a funeral provider:

• may not provide embalming services without permission.
• may not falsely state that embalming is required by law.
• must disclose in writing that embalming is not required by law, except in certain special cases.
• may not charge a fee for unauthorized embalming unless embalming is required by state law.
• must disclose in writing that you usually have the right to choose a disposition, such as direct cremation or immediate burial, that does not require embalming if you do not want this service.
• must disclose in writing that some funeral arrangements, such as a funeral with viewing, may make embalming a practical necessity and, if so, a required purchase.

Caskets
For a "traditional," full-service funeral:
A casket often is the single most expensive item you'll buy if you plan a "traditional," full-service funeral. Caskets vary widely in style and price and are sold primarily for their visual appeal. Typically, they're constructed of metal, wood, fiberboard, fiberglass or plastic. Although an average casket costs slightly more than $2,000, some mahogany, bronze or copper caskets sell for as much as $10,000.

No matter where or when you're buying a casket, it's important to remember that its purpose is to provide a dignified way to move the body before burial or cremation. No casket, regardless of its qualities or cost, will preserve a body forever. Metal caskets frequently are described as "gasketed," "protective" or "sealer" caskets. These terms mean that the casket has a rubber gasket or some other feature that is designed to delay the penetration of water into the casket and prevent rust. The Funeral Rule forbids claims that these features help preserve the remains indefinitely because they don't. They just add to the cost of the casket.

Most metal caskets are made from rolled steel of varying gauges - the lower the gauge, the thicker the steel. Some metal caskets come with a warranty for longevity. Wooden caskets generally are not gasketed and don't have a warranty for longevity. They can be hardwood like mahogany, walnut, cherry or oak, or softwood like pine. Pine caskets are a less expensive option, but funeral homes rarely display them. Manufacturers of both wooden and metal caskets usually warrant workmanship and materials.

For cremation:
Many families that opt to have their loved ones cremated rent a casket from the funeral home for the visitation and funeral, eliminating the cost of buying a casket. If you opt for visitation and cremation, ask about the rental option. For those who choose a direct cremation without a viewing or other ceremony where the body is present, the funeral provider must offer an inexpensive unfinished wood box or alternative container, a non-metal enclosure - pressboard, cardboard or canvas - that is cremated with the body.

Under the Funeral Rule, funeral directors who offer direct cremations:

• may not tell you that state or local law requires a casket for direct cremations, because none do;
• must disclose in writing your right to buy an unfinished wood box or an alternative container for a direct cremation; and
• must make an unfinished wood box or other alternative container available for direct cremations.

Consumer Links

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule does not cover cemeteries and mausoleums unless they sell both funeral goods and funeral services, so be cautious in making your purchase to ensure that you receive all pertinent price and other information, and that you're being dealt with fairly.

AARP - www.aarp.org
AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to helping older Americans achieve lives of independence, dignity and purpose. Its publications, Funeral Goods and Services and Pre-Paying for Your Funeral, are available free by writing to the above address. This and other funeral-related information is posted on the AARP website.

Funeral Consumers Alliance - www.funerals.org
FCA, a nonprofit, educational organization that supports increased funeral consumer protection, is affiliated with the Funeral and Memorial Society of America (FAMSA).

Cremation Association of North America - www.cremationassociation.org
CANA is an association of crematories, cemeteries and funeral homes that offer cremation.

International Cemetery and Funeral Association - www.icfa.org
ICFA is a nonprofit association of cemeteries, funeral homes, crematories and monument retailers that offers informal mediation of consumer complaints through its Cemetery Consumer Service Council. Its website provides information and advice under "Consumer Resources."

International Order of the Golden Rule - www.ogr.org
OGR is an international association of about 1,300 independent funeral homes.

Jewish Funeral Directors of America Seaport Landing - www.jfda.org
JFDA is an international association of funeral homes serving the Jewish community.

National Funeral Directors Association - www.nfda.org/resources
NFDA is the largest educational and professional association of funeral directors.

National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association - www.nfdma.com
NFDMA is a national association primarily of African-American funeral providers.

National Selected Morticians - www.nsm.org
NSM is a national association of funeral firms that have agreed to comply with its Code of Good Funeral Practice. Consumers may request a variety of publications through NSM's affiliate, the Consumer Information Bureau, Inc.

Planning For A Funeral

1. Shop around in advance. Compare prices from at least two funeral homes. Remember that you can supply your own casket or urn.

2. Ask for a price list. The law requires funeral homes to give you written price lists for products and services.

3. Resist pressure to buy goods and services you don't really want or need.

4. Avoid emotional overspending. It's not necessary to have the fanciest casket or the most elaborate funeral to properly honor a loved one.

5. Recognize your rights. Laws regarding funerals and burials vary from state to state. It's a smart move to know which goods or services the law requires you to purchase and which are optional.

6. Apply the same smart shopping techniques you use for other major purchases. You can cut costs by limiting the viewing to one day or one hour before the funeral, and by dressing your loved one in a favorite outfit instead of costly burial clothing.

7. Plan ahead. It allows you to comparison shop without time constraints, creates an opportunity for family discussion, and lifts some of the burden from your family.

Glossary of Terms

Alternative Container

An unfinished wood box or other non-metal receptacle without ornamentation, often made of fiberboard, pressed wood or composition materials, and generally lower in cost than caskets.

Casket/Coffin

A box or chest for burying remains.

Cemetery Property

A grave, crypt or niche.

Cemetery Services

Opening and closing graves, crypts or niches; setting grave liners and vaults; setting markers; and long-term maintenance of cemetery grounds and facilities.

Columbarium

A structure with niches (small spaces) for placing cremated remains in urns or other approved containers. It may be outdoors or part of a mausoleum.

Cremation

Exposing remains and the container encasing them to extreme heat and flame and processing the resulting bone fragments to a uniform size and consistency.

Crypt

A space in a mausoleum or other building to hold cremated or whole remains.

Disposition

The placement of cremated or whole remains in their final resting place.

Endowment Care Fund

Money collected from cemetery property purchasers and placed in trust for the maintenance and upkeep of the cemetery.

Entombment

Burial in a mausoleum.

Funeral Ceremony

A service commemorating the deceased, with the body present.

Funeral Services

Services provided by a funeral director and staff, which may include consulting with the family on funeral planning; transportation, shelter, refrigeration and embalming of remains; preparing and filing notices; obtaining authorizations and permits; and coordinating with the cemetery, crematory or other third parties.

Funeral Planning Society

See Memorial Society.

Grave

A space in the ground in a cemetery for the burial of remains.

Grave Liner or Outer Container

A concrete cover that fits over a casket in a grave. Some liners cover tops and sides of the casket. Others, referred to as vaults, completely enclose the casket. Grave liners minimize ground settling.

Graveside Service

A service to commemorate the deceased held at the cemetery before burial.

Interment

Burial in the ground, inurnment or entombment.

Inurnment

The placing of cremated remains in an urn.

Mausoleum

A building in which remains are buried or entombed.

Memorial Service

A ceremony commemorating the deceased, without the body present.

Memorial Society

An organization that provides information about funerals and disposition, but is not part of the state-regulated funeral industry.

Niche

A space in a columbarium, mausoleum or niche wall to hold an urn.

Urn

A container to hold cremated remains. It can be placed in a columbarium or mausoleum, or buried in the ground.

Vault

A grave liner that completely encloses a casket.